Mad Twenties - Song Story #1: “Window”

This is definitely the most ambiguous song on the album; my songwriting is not often known for its subtlety. I started “Window” in 2018 when I was living in Soquel, CA. The house was deep into the redwood forest, off Glen Haven Road. It was a perfect location for going on a multitude of plant medicine journeys. 

At the beginning, the verse and the chorus were two separate songs. These were the original chorus lyrics:

Tell me it’s all in my head
Lie to me, baby
I promise I’ll forget
Cause it’s easier to stay with you
Then go home instead

Here is an old video of that version:  https://www.instagram.com/p/BgH6iALnuYG/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

It was going in the direction of another one of my sad, kind of desperate love songs. I am SO glad those lyrics and that tapestry phase didn’t stick - yikes. 

Every time I start a trip, I have a moment when I’m coming up where I have to choose to trust and surrender to the process. They say to “always step through an open door” when opening up to the medicine. The “unfamiliar eyes” I talk about in the first verse refer to the spirit guide I connect with when I am under the influence of those substances. For a long time, I would get hung up on whether or not what I was experiencing was “real.” Is what I’m seeing, learning, and feeling actually there? I’ve come to find that it doesn’t matter and there is simply no way to define “realness.” Either everything is real, or nothing is real. If the takeaway has a profound and lasting effect on your life, then what is more real than that? My entire life has pivoted because of the experiences I have had exploring my own consciousness, and connecting with source energy in the most tangible way I could ever imagine. It can be disheartening to hear people discount that experience as a real transformation just because it is different from their path.

The very last verse is important. After finishing a ceremony, trip, or guided journey, integration is the most important part. Anyone can eat a mushroom and have a grand ol’ time chasing fairies in the forest and feeling love for the earth and mankind like you’ve never felt before. But the way you choose to implement those lessons into your life is where the real transformation happens, and it is not to be taken lightly.

I finished the song sometime in 2019. I remember it taking a really long time to write, and an even longer time to dial in a good live version of it. And even LONGER to decide on a title. “Illusive Line” was a working title that I could never get behind. Naming songs is not my forte. I settled on “Window” just weeks before we recorded it in March 2021.

What came to be from this drawn out writing process is a song about staying open. It’s about seeing things from a new perspective and gaining new insights - which is why I call it “Window.” It’s about opening the window outside of our mind, and being in a place to receive messages, lessons, and affirmations. 

It’s meant to encourage people not to be so quick to judge another human’s spiritual path. What works for one person may not work for someone else. It’s nobody’s job or business to decide what the best way is to connect to yourself or source energy. 

I love the way this song opens up the album. It is different from the rest of the tracks. Shout out to Bryce for really nailing this mix. I told him to “get trippy with it” and he did not disappoint. Thanks dude.

Window

Verse 1:

Out of the window I 
See you standing
Unfamiliar eyes
Sideways glancing

Like a stranger in my mind
You let yourself in 
To play with the time 
And change dimension
An illusive line

Chorus:

Don’t tell me it’s all in my head
Wouldn’t lie to you, baby 
I promise it’s not a lens, yeah
Something’s waiting just outside our view 
A world in which our confines are dead
Past the illusive line that lives in our head

Verse 2:

Sometimes when I am alone
I get this feeling
Nowhere feels like home
Without freedom

But there’s a space inside my bones 
Waiting to lift 
Hollow but strong 
You let yourself in 
Take me to the zone

Chorus:

Don't tell me it's all in my head
Wouldn't lie to you, baby 
I promise it's not a lens, yeah
Something’s waiting just outside our view 
A world in which our confines are dead
Past the illusive line that lives in our head

Bridge:

Are you willing to search 
Outside of yourself
Or what you think you might be?
Are you willing to go
Step into the zone
Cross over the line you've been dreaming?

Verse 3:

Out of the window I 
See you standing 
But with the sun in my eyes
Like you’ve been planted
In the garden of my mind
Will I water
Or will I let it run dry?

Written by Taylor Rae

Window lyrics © TaylorRaeMusic (ASCAP)